How dare that boy call me a faggot!? How dare my dad suggest he wants me to be straight like him and everyone else he's ever known!? It's time for a moment of rage! Throw your mobile on the floor so that the battery pack smashes! Cycle furiously while bent over your handlebars with a deep frown! And don't acknowledge Mrs Friendly Old Bitch who lives next door when she says hi. The Portuguese mother in Mau Couti's bad gay cult classic Tunel Russois a tremendous example. Working-class mothers are generally the best, but a rich bitch can work, too. And then there's that Eurovision wallchart. But let's face it, she's already spotted the cock ring and poppers in his bottom drawer. Later, she will ask if he's gay, then feign shock at the answer. She should shout at the TV as if it can hear her and she will definitely shout at her gay son when he comes in from school.Īt first, her dialogue revolves around schoolwork, nagging her son to wear a bike helmet and complaining about his (erotically shot, of course) piles of dirty socks. She needs to be watching a massively crap chat show or a feckless daytime TV quiz. She's probably 30th in line to being the next Sheila Hancock. Think of a fat Joan Rivers cast in a John Osborne play. She is angsty, sombre, frayed, yet just a tiny bit fabulous.
